A Little Help From My Friends
I am a podcast junkie, and I am already extraordinarily jealous of people who get published on audio magazines like The Drabblecast, Pseudopod, Escape Pod, and the Dunesteef. I’ve been published on The Way of the Buffalo, but honestly I haven’t made a consistent foray into the short fiction world. In fact, pretty much every time I start to work on something short, I end up working on something long. My current book – working title “Hunting Annabelle” – came from a short story I wrote, then rewrote, then rewrote again.
The reason I bring this up is because I have several friends who are self publishing right now. They get that instant gratification, they get the money, and I start to wonder what I’m doing trying to get traditionally published. But then, I have only recently got up enough courage to think that what I’m writing might be interesting to more people than just my mom. Then I started working on one of my original novels (yes, I’ve written more than one – and I hope none of my old ones ever see the light of day). Once I realized that I was overwhelmed with the project to which I had set myself – it was epic fantasy – I went to short stories. Then I decided the story I’d rewritten a bunch should actually be a novel. Now I’m starting again.
Now that I’m about a third of my way through the story (it’s at 22,479 words as of today), I am feeling some impostor syndrome. I always feel like this shouldn’t happen – and it always does. I mean, I write nonfiction articles for a living!! So, why do I feel so impostor-y when I write fiction? One way I deal with inner turmoil as a writer is by seeking inspiration. My usual sources are the wonderful (and now Campbell Award Winning!!!) Mur Lafferty and those inspirational people at Writing Excuses. I also have a dear friend who I wish lived closer that is a traditionally published author. Heck, my mom is an author for goodness sakes!!
I think what’s really happened is I set a target for myself and now I’m freaking out. I decided I have to finish my novel by the end of NanoWriMo. There’s no way on earth that I think I could write an entire novel in one month, but I figure I can at least finish my novel by then. That gives me about 2 months. Which means I have to write about 1000 words every day. That isn’t that much, but I am, by nature, a procrastinator and an over-estimator. I always start out going “Oh, yeah, that’ll be easy. So easy that I can put it off until tomorrow.” So, I’m fighting against myself.
In an effort to get this project done, I’m going to try and post my word count on a semi-daily basis until the first draft is done. Then I’ll have to figure out another way to get some help from my friends. 🙂
I leave you now with a Macklemore song I like to use to pump myself up (note that it’s explicit):